Sparks

Its been 8 weeks, but I'm still here.

2009-03-26T04:04:05Z

Thank you, Arielle.

From the Teaching Company game theory lectures that I just finished

2009-01-22T05:58:51Z

A somewhat over simplified game theoretical analysis of why presidential candidates move to the center:

Imagine the old left -> right spectrum of political views. For simplicity, assume that people's views are evenly spread along the spectrum.

Now say we have two candidates, one leaning say 27% to the left of center, and one 14% to the right. If this is a two candidate race, people are going to vote for the candidate most similar in position to their own. Thus, the leftist will gain all the votes from the far left all the way to halfway in between him and the rightist. That works out to the leftist gaining 23% left 20.5 middle = 43.5% of the vote. The rest goes to the rightist, who gains 36% right 20.5% middle = 56.5% of the vote. Right wins if the election were held on that day. However, Left looks at the game, and sees that if he moves towards center, he can increase the people to the left of him, and squeeze the middle (hurting himself, but also hurting right). But wait. If he moves right next to Right in position (1% off - right of center!), he squeezes middle even further to 0.5%, grabbing Right's share of the middle for himself.

So Left moves to 13% right of center. 63% left 0.5% middle = 63.5%. Right then counters by moving 1% to the left of Left. If you keep on running this, the positions converge on 50%, exact center. Each candidate gets 50%, and nobody can improve on this result. The one and only Nash Equilibrium of the game.

Take this one step further. People aren't distributed evenly along the spectrum. However, this just alters the definition of "center". Center is kinda like the center of mass along a seesaw. Imagine a bunch of kids of various weights were sitting on either side of a seesaw. The center in the spectrum is the position of the center of mass (or the fulcrum when the seesaw is balanced.) There is only one spot where the fulcrum can be placed so that the seesaw can be balanced.

Of course, the left and right spectrum isn't a very good model of people's views. You can take this two dimensional analysis and expand it into higher dimensions too. I'm pretty sure this center strategy still holds with two people. However, introducing extra candidates (Nader in 2000 comes to mind) severely complicates the picture. It exposes some flaws with the voting system. Gore should have won over Bush easily. Nader's base almost certainly would support Gore over Bush. However, the 1.5 million votes that went to Nader in Florida meant 1.5 million less for Gore. Tampered voting machines or not, this would've ensured a Gore victory, and a quite different America. This is also reflected into the 3D projections with more than one candidate. Its quite interesting.

Mommy, I want a Badonkadonk for Christmas!

2008-11-28T22:12:41Z

http://www.amazon.com/review/product/B00067F1CE/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?_encoding=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

Pretty please? With a cherry on top?

Even more stuff

2008-01-15T06:10:53Z

I'm gonna have to sit down one day and just start stringing all my ideas together into a story...

Old Gold Inn (10:09:20 PM): haha that should be a story

Old Gold Inn (10:09:28 PM): like how places get ruined

Old Gold Inn (10:09:32 PM): cause of people

Old Gold Inn (10:09:42 PM): and how you keep traveling around

Old Gold Inn (10:09:44 PM): ruining places

Old Gold Inn (10:09:47 PM): until theres nowhere to go

PSAT

2008-01-11T04:21:35Z

My mom hugged me and jumped around the house for a few minutes. She is 51 this year. Still a crazy hyper teen valley girl at heart though :)

Oh Sarah!

2008-01-06T00:08:43Z

http://youtube.com/watch?v=5SNoYo9b_kA

I have no idea what the guy is singing about. It sounds better that way! The French becomes part of the music - not like oil floating on top of an otherwise pristine bay. The ending is creepy!

Let it rain!

2008-01-05T03:23:51Z

This morning, while the storm raged outside,
I got up to the sound of the drumming wind, and the staccato rain.
This morning, while the storm raged outside,
I woke up to the beauty of Beethoven's 5th symphony.
Safe in my little bubble of glass and steel,
Everything was quiet in its deafening noise.
Only the music existed.
Bliss.

The Magic of Christmas

2007-12-24T18:09:12Z

http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/truce.asp

Whatever situation we were born into,
Whatever experience has taught us,
We all are human inside,
We all have our inner fire.

Sometimes we just need a little catalyst,
Sometimes we just need to find our common ground,
Something to help us overlook the world's bitterness.
Something perhaps, as intangible as the Christmas Spirit.

Real friends are the best thing one can have.
I love you all.
I might hate your actions, but I love you.

Christmas is no time for bitterness! Its a time for joy :)

Buon Natale everyone!

Winterfaire

2007-12-15T04:02:11Z

Was cool. Whats even cooler...I got into English honors :)

Who should I take? (Assuming I have a choice for World Lit 2 Honors)

La Vita e Bella

2007-12-14T01:31:54Z

Part of every one of us dies every second.

Bam.

There goes another few thousand cells.

Bam.

Here comes another few thousand to replace them.

Ya know what happens when part of you doesn't die? Mutated cells don't die off and the result? Cancer. When a part refuses to die, the whole does. Interesting huh? There are probably a ton of parallels to that...

If you don't get vaccinated for a disease, you don't produce antibodies and are defenseless.
If you don't experience little mental trial first, you probably cannot deal with a stronger trial.
If you don't ever get hurt, any pain hits a lot harder.

etc etc.

The topic came up in bio today... got me thinking.

P.S. I'm in love with the movie...its quickly replacing the Silence of the Lambs as my favorite movie of all time.

Oggi, io sono molto fortunato.

2007-12-12T00:20:20Z

I had a 1 1/2 page story about a "fairy hunt" I was to do over the weekend and a long grammar exercise due mods 1/2 today. I woke up at about 6:30 realizing that I had done neither and that it would completely screw over my English grade. Then BAM! Deus ex machina!

1. I was 4 minutes late for school, but Mr Arber was 5 mins late for class.
2. We analyzed A Midsummer Nights Dream all through today's class and he neither collected nor checked either assignment :)

Just for laughs, here is my story that I put together at 6:30 today - Microsoft Word's goddamn trial edition (the version my computer came installed with) expired, so I had to resort to typing it out on LJ and then printing it with textpad (also the reason why I was late):

It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly awoken by the strange flashes of light pulsating from the dark confines of GG forest, I, Lord Dillon His Majesty The High Lord The Almighty The 94876th, decided to investigate. Donning my trademark cape and sombrero, I leaped out thewindow, only to discover that the hippy fortune teller who told me I could fly was in fact, high on LSD and relied on swindling amazing heroes like me to finance his habit. Just then, a man who looked like he weighed about 400 pounds, ejected by his vengeful boss/wife, burst through the door of his dilapidated house and came rolling down the hill towards me. I attempted to telepathically stop him before I remembered that I was "granted these powers" in a strange ritual involving getting drunk and dancing naked in the middle of an English "futbol" (football) game with the words: "Manchester United sucks" tattooed to my ass by that same hippie who told me I could fly. Failing in my attempt to telepathically stop him, I attempted to get out of the way of my impending doom to no avail. CRRRRAUUUK!! Everything turned black except for the little green fairy on my shoulder whom I had picked up in Amsterdam.

Hours, or perhaps days later, I suddenly found myself being yanked out of the cardboard box I had rolled into while passed out by a man claiming that I had trespassed on his "home". Looking at my sad condition though, the man felt sorry for me and gave me his "home" along with directions to the nearest homeless shelter. Not wanting to provoke his anger, I attempted to follow his directions. This is what I managed to decipher of what he said:

To be get to dat shelter, alls you gotta be doin is dis.

1. Walk through da GG forest until you be gettin to da crack spot.

2. Den turn rite till you see dem johns.

3. Follow dem till you is get there.

Realizing that I was starving and needed a source free food, I decided to seriously go to the shelter. I had no idea where the crack spot was. After many hours wandering around the woods, I decided that maybe my fairy friends could point me in the right direction. Following the girls with kaleidoscope eyes, I made my way to the palace of the fairy king. The fairy festival was in session, so I patiently waited as they flew around the court in their elaborate patterns, and wove rainbow pictures of cellophane flowers on the marshmallow sky. After they were done, they feasted on marshmallow pies and tangerines with their guests - the girls with kaleidoscope eyes, the rocking horse people, the newspaper taxi drivers and the plasticine porters. They all took part in the traditional mating dances around their campfires, ones that looked like they were straight out of a 1950s porno from the modern art museum.

SCCREEAKAKK!

I was momentarily awoken from my trip by the screech of a loudspeaker pointed directly at me. Before I passed out, the man at the other end of the loudspeaker said to me something about having the right to remain silent. Ah well, at least they have free food in jail

Rap straight out of a Palahniuk book...

2007-12-11T02:24:12Z

http://artists.letssingit.com/immortal-technique-lyrics-dance-with-the-devil-33rgmw6

Pure chilling insanity. Rap ain't all about bitches and ice anymore.

Grades!

2007-12-08T07:27:03Z

Much improved, but still wanting improvement.

English: C+ (Working my way back up from that D+ I got last grading period)
Drama: B+ (Haven't really been working in that class...can't complain)
Modern World: B+ (1% away from a 90...aghhhhh)
Italian: A (I'm starting to enjoy the language now...motivation!...YES!)
Math: B (Evans. Nuff said.)
P.E: A (Donohue. Nuff said.)
Bio: B (Gotta start working on making my labs legible :P)

Overall GPA: π! 22/7 to be exact.

PS. Didn't do a single mod of resource...and lo and behold...no new resource card :) Gratzie mille, Dyne.

BACK!

2007-12-08T07:16:43Z

Things that I've accomplished:

1. Taught myself how to play the piano again
2. Finished a few books that I wanted to finish but "never had the time"
3. Realized that I am addicted to and cannot live without the internet.

I have a lot more respect for my dad now...him and his attempts to quit smoking.

Can I do it?

2007-12-01T02:03:35Z

Time for another test of my willpower!

So far, I've planked for 4 minutes and 30 seconds by pumping up my adrenaline through mental exercises and hardcore metal music :P

This however, is a test of pure mental endurance. Can I kick the addiction and go a week without using my computer?

At midnight today, I will turn off my computer and it will stay off until next Saturday: December 8th, 2007.

Wish me luck!

Giving Thanks

2007-11-27T05:15:42Z

Today, my Modern World teacher, Mr. Conley reminded his class of the true purpose of the Thanksgiving holiday; not merely to get a bunch of friends and family together and have a great meal, but also to be thankful for life's unwaivering ability to provide us with a little spot of light no matter how bad it gets. I used to resent having to list everything that I was thankful for because I focused only on what was missing, and not what I had. Now after pulling through a few of the most depressing weeks of my life, every little silver lining, no matter how small, seems to have unending beauty.

Why see only darkness when there is light?

Look around.
What do you see?
There is your light.
Use it.
Everyone dies, but not everyone lives.
Why not live?

There is always hope.
Its everywhere.
We just have to find it.
I did.
Why not you?

Sometimes, the worst times in life are also the best. Once you've climbed Everest, every other mountain seems like an anthill in comparison. The same applies to life. Once you've gotten through hell, nothing will ever seem impossible to get through again. Once you've seen hell, the worst in life seems heavenly in comparison. Just keeping that in mind gives me my little spark in the dark - the strength to get back up, no matter how hard I get knocked down. This, perhaps, is the thing for which I am most thankful.

Here is a long overdue list of things that I am thankful for - the many sparks in my life laid out so that I can remind myself of what I already have should I ever forget to look towards the light. (This is a work in progress!) :

1. Though my parents have quite a bit of room for improvement, they not only provide a decent life for me, but are themselves, great people who will always be there, even after everyone else abandons me.

2. I have my friends - people who never cease to amaze me and fulfill one of the most basic, (and in this modern age, one of the hardest to find) human needs - the need for acceptance.

3. There are still places in the world where a small bowl of porridge puts a smile on everyone's face. Why shouldn't I have an even bigger smile when I have all I could ever want to eat?

4. I have access to everything I need to create a bright future for myself.

5. My family members aren't millionaires, but we live comfortably with everything we need, and quite a bit of what we want.

Oggi

2007-11-18T06:44:33Z

Today, I did pilates for the entire 3 minute 48 second duration of No Surprises by Radiohead. Pain really does feel good and willpower beats pain anyday. People who cut themselves should find a better way of creating pain for themselves...if you're gonna let out your emotions by hurting yourself, do it in a positive way that will make you both physically and emotionally stronger.

Dr Strangelove or how I came to realize that this is one of the best movies that I've ever seen

2007-11-18T03:47:11Z

Oh. My. God.

Go out and rent it today.

Honors English

2007-11-16T01:55:07Z

Honors test today. From what I've heard, the English department clings to their own interpretation of the poems, and discards anything else.

Thats total bullshit!

They should take anybody with a good supporting argument, regardless of whether they adhere to the general consensus of the teachers. I can understand if the interpretation was off on a wild tangent, in which case there would probably be barely, if any, supporting details from the poem. However, if the student can write a well supported essay with plenty of links to the poem, the department should definitely accept him or her over someone who adheres to the accepted interpretation but writes a crappy essay about it.

I wrote that the poem was about womens rights and how men suppressed their basic right of freedom throughout their years.

Waylon interpreted it as a poem about prostitution.

Ryan considered writing about prostitution at first but decided against on the grounds that prostitution probably wouldn't be a subject given to 9th graders.

Quite a few of my friends interpreted it as a metaphor for class struggles, which is actually quite close to what I wrote.

I'll see how it turns out.

"A heart thats...full up like... a landfill...."

2007-11-12T20:02:21Z

Think its bad?

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/15/magazine/15japanese.htm?pagewanted=1&_r=1

It could be worse.

Little Miss Sunshine + a long philisophical ramble...all in a day's time.

2007-11-12T06:39:04Z

Saw this classic for the first time today. The characters are beautifully played out ...each actor creates his or her own extremely believable character complete with personalities and everything. Hmm....maybe I'm just noticing this cause I've been paying too much attention to Mr Drain's lectures. Great acting anyhow...I loved each and every one of their characters. Added on my list of movies I want my Dad to bring back from China.

It got me thinking...maybe I could write a play based on a journey of some sort with a whole bunch of teenagers from all walks of life...perfect for YFAT. That is, if I dont get into CTY...if I decide not to join the football team...if I decide not to do anything else this summer...if I actually had time away from life as a student...if I actually had time...if. I guess theater really is my true extracurricular calling though - nothing builds family like a bunch of kids stuck together in a theater on a long, maddening, stressful, tiring, depressing, but beautifully blissful and uplifting rehearsal.

Ahh time...I could go on and on about time....but seeing as I'm not a junior yet, I shouldn't be talking about time, or rather the lack of time. That would just be wasting my precious homework time, which would in turn waste my precious sleeping time, which would in turn kill my in-class concentration time, which would skyrocket my explain-to-parents-why-I-got-bad-grades-and-hope-I-get-away-with-a-hour-long-lecture time, which would increase my lock-myself-in-room-and-bitch-about-my-parents-on-AIM time...which would waste my precious homework time.

Vicious circles eat away time. Typing about vicious circles, thinking about them uses time.

Time > Money.

Everybody wants money, but almost everybody has money.

Everybody wants time, but nobody has any to spare.

Nobody treats time like money though...its thrown out the window by everyone...procrastinators, newly converted Livejournal bloggers, freshmen...hypocrites...in short, everyone.

Ok, its time to stop wasting time. Time to get on with my homework. Time to stop promising myself that I'll do my homework and do it. Agh, is it really time? Yes, its shut up time.

Ciao

Saturday after Razzle cast party

2007-11-11T06:47:35Z

Another wasted day...sadly not the fun kind.

-Only productive thing I did today was read wikipedia for about 2 hours.

-Tired of the same old songs - send me some new music!

-Found my gloves that I lost a year ago today :) Used as protective gloves for cooking - excellent insulation (found out that insulation means keeping heat OUT as well as in) and beating up my punching bag Wing Chun advancement style without further damaging my fist skin.

-I need to consume less junk shit and more vegetables (what the hell happened to my old diet of steamed rice with vegetables?) ...I consumed an entire costco economy sized bag of chips this week along with a shitload of toxins (mainly due to the cast party). My body officially hates me now : \ Have been shirking my workouts ever since school started but for good reason (THIS.... IS..... LOWELL!!!! *kick*)...today I have no excuse except that I felt lazy all day. Lazy, not lethargic. See, I'm typing this entire entry with my left hand so I dont have to move my right hand from its comfy position on the armrest of my chair.

-Moms been bugging me to do my homework and drill vocab for the SAT [I'm a fucking freshman for gods sake ( alliteration! :) )]

-Not gonna make english honors - I can probably pass the test, but my D+ in english (due to the unfortunate circumstance that a teacher who cares about homework is teaching my 1/2 english class) will stop me from getting in. Ah well, I hear its much better taking .83 (I think thats the name? I'm referring to the honors prep class) and the other english classes.

Yep...Lowell is really gonna be an academic Sparta for me. You don't get to be as badass as a Spartan unless you work. So work I shall, in true Lowell style.....tomorrow. :-)

November 6, 2007

2007-11-07T07:17:31Z

So Live journal huh? It seems that in the absence of real paper, which cannot be effectively password protected with my resources, this is the best way to semi secretly record my thoughts. Years later, I intend to go back to these entries and be like: wtf is this kid thinking, how could this have been me? And yet me it is. Much like how my 5th grade through 8th grade years shaped who I am today, these years will be the mold upon which the otherwise entropic material of my high school years will be shaped. Well what I'm trying to say is that it would be useful to remember the little details of life here and now so that in later years, I can go back and put together the puzzle pieces...OH! So this happened..and thats why I did this...and that led to this...and that changed my view of this...and thats why I'm like what I am right now. The butterfly effect. So I've written a thesis statement, or rather entry...happy now Mr Arber? The real meat, the juicy details that all of you stalkers (and people who have earned my trust) will be reading is yet to come. Buona Serra.